A Little Wicked Book of Little Wicked Rhymes
by Barbara Leigh
Summary: A collection of dark short stories based on popular nursery rhymes.
1. Jack and Jill

**Jack and Jill**

_Jack and Jill went up the hill_

_To fetch a pail of water;_

_Jack fell down and broke his crown,_

_And Jill came tumbling after._

Jill was the elder sister of Jack. She was jealous and angry at her brother because he was more of a favorite in the family. He was dumb and clumsy but no one ever finds fault in him. In turn, Jill got blamed for his mistakes. This was what irritated her and made her hate her brother so much, though Jack never teased her. Then, the family gave Jack a beautiful golden crown for his birthday because he was their little prince. This drove Jill to something wicked.

One day, she called Jack to accompany her in fetching a pail of water. But they passed the village well which was below an apple tree. Jill soon led Jack up a barren hill which was forbidden for children to go. They came upon an old dark well. Jill let Jack put the pail on the pulley and lower it down. As he was busy with it, Jill pushed her brother into the well. He grabbed hold of the pail, but it only let him fall down. Jill was laughing evilly, but she was oblivious that the rest of the rope on the ground got tangled up on her ankle. Thus, she came tumbling after.

She splashed on the dark water, and found the floating dead body of Jack who hit his head on a loss brick while he was falling down. The well was so deep that the sunlight couldn't reach the bottom and Jill's cries of help couldn't reach the surface. Two nights had passed as Jill stayed there with Jack's corpse. Her attempts of climbing up were a failure. On the second day, she soon had the courage to try again. Brick by brick she climbed with her remaining strength. At last, her right hand touched the rim of the well.

But suddenly, she felt that something grabbed her ankle, and pulled her down again. After plunging on the dark water, she saw Jack stood up before her. Some of his bones were visible and his left eye was missing. Maggots fed on his wound in the head. He grabbed his broken crown, and with it, he stabbed his sister to death. Another Jack and Jill also went up that hill. When they fetched a pail of water, they were surprised to see blood instead, and ran away screaming until their hurried steps made them trip and roll down the cursed hill.

* * *

_This is one of my personal favorites. I hoped you liked it, too, and got scared._


	2. Hey Diddle, Diddle

**Hey Diddle, Diddle**

_Hey Diddle, Diddle,_

_The cat and the fiddle,_

_The cow jumped over the moon;_

_The little dog laughed to see such sport,_

_And the dish ran away with the spoon._

The rhyme was created by a boy who was called by his fellowmen "the fork" because of his sense of direction. He had a girlfriend who was called "the spoon" to pair them up. But another boy called "the dish" (if you look it in the dictionary, it's an informal term for an attractive person) was in love with the spoon. One night, he invited the fork and the spoon in his manor, a spooky house up a spooky hill. The dish was such an eccentric person that he just bought the place or some said, swindled or "diddled" to save money. Yet he wanted to celebrate with his friend, the fork. But out of courtesy, he and the spoon accepted the invitation.

They had dinner among the dusty tables, and chatted in the parlor surrounded by cobwebs. It was a stormy night that the dish insisted that they sleep in his manor. Since, they weren't still married, the spoon stayed on a separate bedroom. That night, the fork woke up by the sound of a fiddle being played wildly. Its music was so strange and unimaginable like that of Erich Zann in H.P. Lovecraft's story. He wanted to see who was playing it, but to the fork's surprise, he couldn't move, not even his toes. He realized he was sleep paralyzed. But he wasn't sure if that music was real or a dream.

Anyway, his head was already turned to his left and looked out the window as he waited to wake up from the sleep paralysis. The sky cleared and revealed the silver full moon. Suddenly, he was surprised to see a huge white silhouette from the moonlight (_the cow jumped over the moon_). The ghost entered through the window. He wanted to scream but he could not open his mouth. As the huge ghost approached him, he felt colder, as if the white thing was inhaling his breath. He soon turned his head straight, and found that something was sitting on his chest. It was heavy, thus, making it more difficult to breathe. It was also hairy. The fork turned his eyes and saw its pointy ears and demonic face laughing (_the little dog laughed_). He struggled very hard to move a muscle, especially to open his mouth for he couldn't breathe with his clogged nose.

The music of the fiddle grew wilder and louder. Then, the fork caught a glimpse at the door the shadows of his girlfriend and his so-called friend. He realized the dish set them up to "_ran away with the spoon,_" or to steal his girlfriend and let him die. But the nightmarish phantasms soon stole all of his breath, thus, he was out of life. As for the dish and the spoon, they didn't escape the haunted house alive either. In the middle of the hall, they saw the fiddle player. It sort of looked like a cat. But whatever it was, it played a certain note whose horrible pitch made their ears bleed with their brain.

* * *

_I found it hard to interpret Hey Diddle, Diddle, 'coz it was total nonsense. Then, I was inspired by the painting "The Nightmare" by Henry Fuseli, and by my own experiences while sleep paralyzed._


	3. Mary Had a Little Lamb

**Mary Had a Little Lamb**

_Mary had a little lamb,_

_Its fleece was white as snow;_

_And everywhere that Mary went_

_The lamb was sure to go._

_It followed her to school one day,_

_That was against the rule._

_It made the children laugh and play_

_To see a lamb at school._

One day, little Mary and her classmates were taken on a field trip to the country fair. Mary's favorite part was the petting zoo where they could play with the cute farm animals. As for Mary, she became fond of a certain little lamb. She actually played with it all morning, until a farmer took the lamb away from her embrace. Mary followed the farmer into a barn, and inside, she saw the lamb got slaughtered and its fleece was soaked with blood. Mary could do nothing but cry.

At home, her mother served lamb chop for dinner. Mary only stared at it until she heard it bleat. That night, poor Mary could not sleep and only thought of that innocent lamb being brutally killed. She could still hear it crying for help in her head. At school, she became unstable for she could still hear it bleating, and her classmates would laugh at her whenever she shouted, "Get out of my head!" Then, she felt another strange thing. The bleating stopped, but Mary could feel she was being stalked. She always stopped and looked around whenever she walked to school. She became more paranoid than before, and her teacher would scold her whenever she shouted, "Get away from me!"

Mary soon realized that it was the ghost of that cute little lamb. She went to the petting zoo again and saw another lamb just like it. She asked her parents to buy it for her, but it was too expensive for them. Mary then stole the little lamb, and hid it in her room. But she was caught when the lamb followed her to school one day. The farmer, who's looking for the lamb for a long time, came to the school and took away the lamb from Mary.

Mary ran after his truck. She soon reached the new slaughter house where processing animals was done by machines. From inside it Mary heard the little lamb's cries of agony, and she could imagine everything. Then, she looked up a chimney where the fleece was thrown out. Mary watched the small bundles of wool fall down slowly like snow. A "snowflake" soon touched her nose and little Mary went mad.

* * *

_I was inspired by another fanfiction, "Mary's Little Lamb" by has anyone seen vlad. (R&R hers, too.)_


	4. Rock a Bye, Baby

**Rock-a-Bye, Baby**

_Rock-a-bye, baby, on a tree top,_

_When the wind blows the cradle will rock._

_When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,_

_Down will come baby, cradle, and all._

In a peaceful village, there was this huge acacia tree in the middle of it. For the villagers, it was a giving tree because there's something different, or magical about it. Its branches served as firewood and they would grow back immediately. Its green leaves could make good tea, and the dry leaves could make impressive fertilizers. Its flowers could cure any wound or ache in the body. Its fruits grew bigger than that of any other acacia tree, and it's even edible, sweeter than strawberries. And most of all, the village could wish to this acacia tree.

One proof was that of a lonely maiden. She could not bear children, so one night, she went to the mighty acacia and wished for a child. Suddenly, a huge gust of wind made the whole tree sway in response. A branch fell and almost hit the woman. She looked up again and there was another thing falling down. She held out her hand to catch it, and it was a basket. She opened the blanket and there was a child inside. She rejoiced and thanked the tree.

Ten years had passed, and the villagers recognized that the tree was losing all its branches, leaves, flowers and fruits. They had a meeting and many accounted that the lonely maiden was the one wasting away the goods of the acacia tree. They went into her house, and she explained that it was for the undying needs of her only child. "How could one child need those things?" they said to her, "That tree could provide a whole kingdom." They looked at her child and the villagers were surprised. Many years had passed now, and it was still a baby.

"Your child is a changeling!" the angry mob shouted to the maiden. For you see, changelings are fairies who trick mothers in believing they were their babies and would feed them everything, only not to grow up at all. But the mother already knew that, and still she cherished the child. She then protected the baby, but the angry mob attacked her and captured the changeling. They went to the great acacia tree, and hanged the baby by its neck on a branch.

The maiden was restrained as she watched them beat the crying baby with sticks until his tiny body bled. According to them, this would force his real mother to get him back. Suddenly, the acacia tree swayed violently with a sudden stormy wind. Its leaves and flowers pierced the villagers' eyes. Its berries jumped into their mouths and choked them. Its branches fell down and collapsed on their heads. With the remaining branches, the tree bent down and swept away the dead villagers. The only one left alive and unhurt was the lonely maiden who saw the acacia tree back to its beauty, and the wind took shape of a mother breast-feeding the baby. She was humming the now-known lullaby.

* * *

_As you know, I came from the Philippines and I based this on our mythology, especially about "tianak" or demon baby and about acacia trees. But part of it is also based on Scottish Faerie myths._


	5. Jack Sprat

**Jack Sprat**

_Jack Sprat could eat no fat._

_His wife could eat no lean._

_But between them both you see,_

_They ate the platter clean._

Jack Sprat was a vegetable farmer in his village. He grew artichokes to zucchinis. He's a vegetarian and vegan, just like what the first line of the rhyme says, he could not eat anything that's meat, not even fish. He's very distinguishable among the crowd. He's so tall and slim because of all the non-protein food in his diet. But aside from the vegetables, he also planted hops and grains, and would brew them into beer. Yes, he's not only the village vegetarian; he's also the village drunk.

Every night, he went to that dreary bar, drink tall glasses and spill out his hatred towards his wife, "Needles and pins, Needles and pins. When a man marries, his trouble begins!" He really hated his wife. Unlike him, she was fat, very fat. Every morning, she serves sausages wrapped in bacon. Jack would throw the platters to the floor, and she would lick the floor clean of fatty juices. Then, Jack kicked her gelatinous butt and vomited violently on the sink from another hang over.

One night, his wife was surprised that her abusing husband took her out for dinner in a fancy restaurant. When they were seated, she heard him murmur, "Needles and pins, needles and pins." It was the same song he would chant while drunk. She then realized that he was drunk. She walked away annoyed. But Jack Sprat kept on taunting her to go back, "C'mon, blubber boar. I know you could not resist all this fatty foods. Don't worry I won't get mad if you ate every damned food here. But the people would surely roast you on the spit like the pig you are!"

His wife then returned calmly. Suddenly, she jumped on him and sat on his chest. Her weight crashed his fragile bones. She took a knife, and sliced open her belly. Goo came out like butter. She squeezed a handful and put it into Jack's mouth. He was forced to swallow the lard so he could breathe. But his wife kept on digging up her fat and filling Jack's mouth with it. He soon choked to death, and his wife lay flat on the floor like an empty trash bag.

* * *

_"Needles and Pins" is actually another nursery rhyme. I hope you didn't get gross out with the self-liposuction of the "buttered" wife._


	6. Georgie Porgie

**Georgie Porgie**

_Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,_

_Kissed the girls and made them cry._

_When the boys came out to play,_

_Georgie Porgie ran away._

Georgie Porgie was a handsome count. All the girls loved him and all the boys envied him. But he was notorious for being a Casanova. In every ball he attended, he would lay with twenty girls. As for these girls, they thought he was going to promise them marriage, but they ended up realizing it was just a one-night stand. He's really a philanderer, a man with many casual affairs. Yet, though everyone knew this, all the girls still swoon whenever he smiled at them. The more he broke their heart, the more they wanted him.

Then, there was a ball hosted by the neighboring kingdom, and of course, Georgie would be there. He wasn't known in that kingdom but still he was the center of attention as all the ladies, young and old, flirted around him. But Georgie had only two targets that night, the Princesses Pamela and Lolita of that kingdom. He first flirted with the cold-hearted Princess Pamela who thinks everyone isn't good enough for her. But upon the sight of Georgie, her heart melted into lust, and allowed him to touch her four bases. The ball didn't end yet when Georgie left her chamber as she slept. There was still time for the promiscuous Princess Lolita who was actually looking for him. Georgie need not for sweet talk because she already pulled him out of the grand room and into her chamber.

Little didn't they know that Princess Pamela suddenly woke up to feel she was alone, and being in love for the first time, she thought Georgie was now her property. Thus, she looked for him. She soon found him with her younger sister. Instead of getting mad at Lolita, she was outraged at Georgie. Princess Lolita was also angry at him and kicked him out of the room naked. The next day, Princess Pamela was fuming mad for her virginity was taken by a bastard, and Princess Lolita agreed for Georgie had transmitted a disease to her.

To get revenge, the two princesses called out their most dangerous knights and put a bounty upon Georgie. He was soon caught, and Princess Pamela and Lolita ordered the chefs to bake him into pudding and pie which the two princesses happily ate. That's how the first line of the rhyme came to be.

* * *

_The two princesses are named after two novels entitled "Lolita" and "Pamela" which dealt with sexual affairs. The princesses' attitudes were also based on the novels' characters of the same name. The idea of Georgie baked in a pudding and pie came from "Bluebeard", and the two princesses assassinating and eating him is based on the wicked queen eating Snow White's alleged heart._


	7. The Old Woman in a Shoe

**The Old Woman in the Shoe**

_There was an old woman who lived in a shoe._

_She had so many children she didn't know what to do._

_She gave them broth without any bread._

_She whipped them all soundly and put them to bed._

There was a young fair maiden who was the sweetheart of the town. She married a husband right away because she really loved to have children. But in the end, she could not bear any, thus her husband left her. She then married again and again and again, but still she could not bear children, thus, one by one, her many husbands left her. She wanted to have children so much that she kept on flirting with men and marrying them, until she was getting old and ugly for them. Sometimes, she would wear clothes of young women, especially her prized thigh-length, high-heeled leather boots. But she could not fit them anymore because she was old.

One day, a gentleman came to her and offered her a bargain. If she takes care of his orphanage forever, she would be given eternal youth. How could the old woman resist? She both loved children and beautiful youth. And so, she could fit in her large sexy boots again, and took loving care of the many orphans. Many years had passed. Each orphan grew up and went on their way to the world without even saying thank you to the lady who could not age like them. Because of their harsh behavior, the lady began to get fed up with them. But if she quit now, all the ages would go flooding back to her and turn her into an old crone. Yet, what's the use of youth and beauty if the orphans kept on ruining her dates with other gentlemen?

They were always causing trouble in the town, and she always got blamed for it. One time, she came home from another bad date, and found the orphans dead on the floor with blood. She called the whole town in panic, but the orphans laughed at them with a sinister chuckle. The town got mad at their caretaker who then got mad at the orphans for the first time. Since that time, she no longer fed them with bread, just plain broth. But their misbehavior became worst to the extent that they steal and break things in the town.

Then, their pranks turned into murder. It was the last straw for the old lady when they put her date in a meat grinder. When the orphans came home from another ritual murder and arson in the cornfield, she stumped her boots that the ground shook and made them kneel. She took out a whip and began to beat them cruelly. Their cries were heard from below the depths of the Earth, and arose their master, the one who gave her the orphanage and the imps. He appeared before the lady, covered her face with his boney hand, and took away her youth as she screamed in pain. She turned older and older and older, until she was dust and her clothes, especially the huge shoes remained.

* * *

_I uncovered two extra lines from an old book of nursery rhymes: Then, out went the old woman to bespeak them a coffin. And when she came back, she found them a-loffein'. She thought they were dead. When she came back from the undertaker, they were just kidding. I imagined the orphans as "The Children of the Corn." In my story, they ritually killed themselves to gain more homicidal power when resurrected._


	8. Hickory, Dickory, Dock

**Hickory, Dickory, Dock**

_Hickory, dickory, dock, _

_The mouse went up the clock._

_The clock struck one,_

_The mouse came down._

_Hickory, dickory, dock._

A cat named Gregory attended a gala with his fellow aristocrats. They're not just aristo-cats, there were noble dogs and ferrets, too, and also humans, but there were just a few of them, because their exclusive club only knew the secret that animals could talk civilized, walk on their hind legs and wear clothes and jewelries. The party soon led in comparing their servants. Gregory proudly talked about his mouse, Dickory, and how he could fix anything.

A human named Diana then challenged Dickory in fixing his grandfather pendulum clock. Gregory accepted and told this to Dickory upon returning home. But the mouse was in doubt because human objects were bigger compared to the things he usually fixed. What made it worse was it was a grandfather clock, taller than a human. But Gregory only threatened him, "If you won't fix that clock, I will eat you!"

The next day, Gregory and Dickory went to Diana's mansion. She showed them her prized grandfather pendulum clock but it stopped working. "It's made of hickory, Dickory," she said to the tiny mouse. Dickory right away climbed up the unmoving pendulum, and inside he saw the gigantic gears and toothed wheels covered in dust and rust. Dickory then started working and fixing everything. After two hours, Gregory and Diana saw the second hand was ticking and they danced hand in hand.

As for Dickory, when he turned around, his tail was caught by the moving gears. He struggled in vain, until the gears docked his tail whole. "Dock" means to remove a part of an animal's tail by cutting through the bone. Since he was pulling hard until his tail snapped, Dickory was forced forward like a released rubber band. His body flew onto a tiny hole, but he was stuck. Gregory saw Dickory's head peeking out the clock's face, near the numeral 1.

It was 12:59. Dickory felt the sharp hour hand slowly descending from above his neck. Then, the second and minute hands together reached the numeral 12. The clock struck one, and the hour hand descended fully and sliced Dickory's head. It was the mouse's head that came down.

* * *

_The story is based on Edgar Allan Poe's short story, "A Predicament." The main character named Signora Psyche Zenobia was also decapitated when she wanted to see the view up the cathedral's giant clock. The name of her poodle was Diana who was eaten by a rat._


	9. Baa, Baa, Black Sheep

**Baa, Baa, Black Sheep**

_Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool?_

_Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full;_

_One for the master and one for the dame,_

_And one for the little boy who lives down the lane._

There were three siblings, Robert, Anne and Maurice. The former two were twins, while the latter was their half-brother whose mother was just a concubine. Everyone in their family hated Maurice and considered him as a black sheep. Their father was a powerful merchant in the wool trade. When he died, Robert and Anne, being older and more cunning, got rid of their gullible half-brother from the mansion, who then lived among the bums and alley cats down the cold dark lane.

One day, Robert and Anne were tending to their father's business, until a visitor came to them. He was a dark and gigantic stranger who had twirled ram horns and surrounded by a sinister aura. "I'm a close friend of your father," he said, "I helped him with his success in the business." He then showed them three suitcases that contained their inherited wealth. He gave one to Master Robert and another to Dame Anne. The twins then asked to whom belonged the third suitcase. The stranger said that it was for the merchant's third child, and asked Robert and Anne to give it to him. He then left. Robert and Anne were so excited with their own suitcase full of money.

So, Robert spent his in expanding their wool trade around the country, and buying more fleecy sheep. Anne spent hers in buying designer-labeled clothes, and starting her own fashion line using the wool in their business. With all the riches that gave them happiness, the twins forgot about the third suitcase. Suddenly, their luck turned around. Robert received numerous debts from the export taxes on wool imposed in the business. A famine hit the farm and stables, that the sheep no longer grew fine fleece. Anne was sued when her fashion designs caused itchy skin. And their mansion was totally burned when one of her expensive clothes caught fire in her huge closet.

The twins were penniless and their suitcases were empty. Then, they remembered about Maurice's suitcase, which miraculously survived the fire. But greed overcame the brother and sister. Just for that single suitcase, they would not share. Anne suffocated Robert to death with a wool rag. She was about to run away with the suitcase, but she slipped on the same wool rag and banged her head. The horned man collected their souls, shook his head, took the suitcase, and said to the twins, "You should have known the value of sharing."

He went down the lane where Maurice was trying to warm his self with a hobo fire. He was frightened by the sight of the Devil, but the Devil only gave him the suitcase and left without a word. Maurice opened the suitcase, and with all joy, he found a wool jacket perfect to warm his self.

* * *

_I based the story on an episode of the Simpsons entitled, "Double, Double, Boy in Trouble" where Bart's double, Simon, is a rich kid whom his half brother and sister wanted to kill because Simon is blocking their inheritance. The names of Robert, Anne and Maurice came from Pramoedya Ananta Toer's novel "This Earth of Mankind." In the novel, it was Maurice who was the eldest and the legal son of their rich father._


	10. Miss Muffet

**Miss Muffet**

_Little Miss Muffet _

_Sat on a tuffet,_

_Eating her curds and whey;_

_There came a big spider,_

_Who sat down beside her,_

_And frightened Miss Muffet away._

It was another year in Taffy County and there's only one sure contestant the folks were going to join for the great Dairy Queen pageant. And that would be Little Miss Patty Muffet, the daughter of Doctor Thomas Muffet, a biologist dedicated to spiders. After much merriment in the largest state fair in the kingdom, Patty was crowned the Dairy. It was such a busy week for little Patty, especially that she's just nine, always wearing a heavy crown, steamy cow skin cape, waving endlessly at spectators, milking cows, stirring the curds, smelling cheeses, etc. She was even given a butter sculpture of herself sitting on a tuffet. Patty just loved all the attention.

After the parade of the Dairy Queen, Patty returned home excited to tell her father of the glorious news. She came running to the sun room where she knew her father would usually be. But upon opening the door, she stumbled and got tangled up on a huge spider web, though it was intricately designed. A scarlet spider appeared spinning a web on her hand. For a normal sized spider, its web was very thick. Patty screamed and her father appeared to detach her from the web without breaking it. Patty tried to hug him but instead her father pinched her ear and scolded her to not go into his lab. She cried to her room and failed to tell her father about her coronation.

That night, Patty had again another craving for a midnight snack. She went to the fridge and only found a gallon of cottage cheese. She took the whole bucket, and along the way back to her room, Patty heard her father mumbling in the sun room again. She peeked in and saw him feeding the spiders coffee. It was a fact that spiders could spin webs with beautiful patterns when they take caffeine. After organizing them in the cages, Doctor Thomas left the room to get ready for bed. He didn't notice Patty in the hall. He's always like that to little poor Patty. She peeked in the sun room again and saw the spiders spinning webs hyperactively in their cages. She went inside and stared at them loathsomely.

She got a spoonful of the curd and poured it down on the scarlet spider. Seeing it helplessly confused, Patty was moved to do the same in all the spiders until there's nothing left in the bucket. In the morning, Patty expected her father to panic. He did, but not on the cottage cheese. Actually, they were gone, to Patty's surprise. Instead, the spiders grew moved more wildly. "I think I fed them too much coffee," Doctor Thomas remarked. That night, Patty wanted another midnight snack. Being the Dairy Queen, Patty was given a year-supply of dairy products, but the only ones left for that day was cottage cheese again.

She sat on her favorite tuffet in the sitting room as she ate the curds and whey of the cottage cheese. Suddenly, a noise appeared behind the walls. It was like the scurrying of a thousand small feet, echoing, growing louder. Patty became uneasy and stopped eating to hear the strange things. Then, she felt something crawled behind her back. When she looked at her shoulder, she saw the scarlet spider again. She jumped away from the tuffet and dropped her bowl of curds and whey. In one horrific second, hundreds of spiders emerged from the walls. Patty finally declared her father a mad scientist for feeding the spiders coffee. But to her shock, the spiders crowded the spilled cottage cheese on the floor. Patty then ran away but the spiders were after the curds on her fingers.

With all the fear and panic, Patty didn't think wisely when she decided to hide in the cheese room. There the spiders had a feeding frenzy and their main course was the Dairy Queen herself.

* * *

_This must be the longest tale in the collection, and this is the only story which I based on the actual history of the rhyme. __There's actually a Doctor Thomas Muffet and his daughter, Patience. __But it's against my goal in creating this fanfiction, which is to interpret nursery rhymes without using entries of them in wikipedia. I based the contest on the Princess Kay of the Milky Way pageant held in the Minnesota State Fair._


	11. Little Boy Blue

**Little Boy Blue**

_Little Boy Blue, _

_Come blow your horn,_

_The sheep's in the meadow, _

_The cow's in the corn;_

_ But where is the boy _

_Who looks after the sheep?_

_He's under a haycock, _

_Fast asleep._

_Will you wake him?_

_No, not I, _

_For if I do, _

_He's sure to cry._

A red sky appeared at dusk, and everyone heard the horn of Blue, the shepherd's apprentice. Everyone ran out into the meadow because that certain horn signaled the coming of wolves. But they were too late, they found most of the sheep already eaten and the horn was left on the ground. The people then began to question the whereabouts of Blue. They searched everywhere until bedtime. For the following days, Blue was still nowhere to be found. The townspeople inferred that he was taken away by the wolves, too, but Detective Sheeplock Holmes thought otherwise. He was a very brilliant detective for he found Blue after following the clues: the queer position of the horn on the ground and the sheep's position even, which was as though they made way for someone fleeing.

And do you know where he found Blue? He was under a haycock, hidden under the hay. And to the witnesses' horror, Blue was covered in red, red as in blood. Judging by the numerous stab wounds, Sheeplock knew Blue was murdered using a pitchfork, not by wolves. Everyone looked at the shepherd who was known to grow angry at Blue for he was always sleeping on the job. But there was another suspect – the cowherd. The murder scene was near the cornfield where everyone was surprised to see a cow hidden in it. They remembered the cowherd once blamed Blue in trying to steal his cows for free milk. Sheeplock then asked the two where they were at the time when the horn was blown.

The shepherd replied that he was busy tending to his own herd of sheep on the other side of the meadow because it was going to rain. As for the cowherd, he was also grazing his cows towards the east. With these simple answers, Sheeplock Holmes pointed to the shepherd, "If what you're saying is true, that means you're a no-good shepherd. Every wise shepherd knows that a red sky in the night means a shepherd's delight. It's not going to rain!"

The shepherd then admitted it. Below that blood-red night sky, he saw Blue sleeping again on the haycock after another drink from his stolen cow. The shepherd didn't bother and went to his sheep instead. But upon arriving, the shepherd saw the wolves were already feasting. He blew out the horn, and the wolves ran away. With the loss, the shepherd went back to the cornfield and murdered his apprentice. After this revelation, the shepherd was hanged in the gallows in the morning, under the red sky, with the cows turning their back to the east. Then, it rained.

* * *

_I was inspired by the puzzle pages in K-Zone magazine. There's a detective puzzle where everything was narrated until who-did-it was revealed, but the answer on why would be revealed in the next month's issue. Also, the funny thing in this puzzle is the puns on Sherlock Holmes's name, like what I did. Sheeplock, corny but whatever. I used two rhymes on this story which are very important in solving the case._

_Red sky at night, a shepherd's delight._

_Red sky at morning, a shepherd's warning._

**==O==**_  
_

_A cow with its back to the West makes the weather best,_

_A cow with its back to the East makes the weather least.  
_


	12. Pease Porridge

**Pease Porridge**

_Pease porridge hot, _

_Pease porridge cold,_

_Pease porridge in the pot _

_Nine days old._

_Some like it hot, _

_Some like it cold_

_Some like it in the pot _

_Nine days old._

A food critic went to visit his friend who had a bladder problem. But he got bored until he saw a diner just beside the hospital. Usually, he would just criticize three to five star restaurants in the town. But it would be fun to bring down a lousy diner by putting worse reviews in the paper. It was just an old trailer without wheels and inside was a bar with stools. Aside from the food critic, there was another customer eating a bowl of pease porridge. He gave a peace sign to the food critic. The food critic sat on one stool and rang the bell.

Someone slowly emerged from below the counter. It was a small person with a bad tan, rough skin like a frog, a hunchback, green lupine eye and a Cheshire cat grin. "What can I get ya'?" he or it said to the food critic in a creepy friendly way. "I'll have your three best delicacies." The ugly fellow nodded. He clapped his hands, then his right tapped the table, clapped again, and his left tapped the table. Then, he came down as if there was a staircase down the cash register. While waiting, the food critic took down negative notes about the diner. It was pretty lousy alright, unsanitary and there's something uncanny. He was then surprised that the ugly fellow was peeking out the counter, watching the food critic.

Suddenly, he heard somebody, two of them, below the counter having a playful clapping. The ugly fellow looked down and finally presented three bowls of pease porridge to the food critic. The food critic pointed out that he wanted three different dishes and they better be the best. "But these are three different kinds of porridge," the ugly fellow replied, "One is cooked hot. One is cold. And the last is nine-days old." The food critic no longer argued with the weird creature, and tasted the three dishes of yellow broth, black peas and bacon joints. To his surprise, they were all great. Each has a unique and impressive taste, especially the nine-day old porridge.

"Yeah," the other customer agreed, "It's far better than the new-born porridge." The food critic was confused, and left. In the hospital, he was surprised to see another frog-like creature there. It was holding a plastic bag full of yellow liquid. "What are you doing here?" the food critic asked, "Is that urine?"

"Groceries. I'm shopping for ingredients, y'know," it replied as it looked glutinously at the nursery. A nurse passed by, and the ugly creature asked her, "Where are the nine-day old babies?"

The food critic hurried back to the diner and shouted, "You serve babies?!"

"Well, duh! They're pretty delicious, right?" the creature at the counter said.

The food critic shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah. I guess so."

* * *

_I was going to coin "piss" porridge, but I was more interested on the nine-days old ingredient. I was inspired by an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog, entitled "Heads of Beef"._


	13. Humpty Dumpty

**Humpty Dumpty**

_Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,_

_Humpty Dumpty had a great fall._

_All the king's horses._

_And all the king's men,_

_Couldn't put Humpty together again._

Once upon a time, angels and demons lived on Earth. But because of the demons' bad deeds, the angels created a wall that only God could scale and measure how long and how wide. The demons were outraged by this because the angels' side was the Garden of Eden, while theirs was the Jurassic Park. Until, they met a caveman who could understand temptation. He's the one who invented the sword using giant animal fangs. The demons told him about the pleasures of Eden and showed the Wall. The caveman was so tempted that he began to climb the wall.

"Way to go, Einstein!" a sarcastic remark. The demons were amused by this idiotic attempt. Instead of planning how to destroy the wall, the demons spent their time watching the caveman fail and fall every day. At last, the caveman started to climb the wall for the 777th time. After hours of strenuous climbing and almost falling down again, the caveman did what no man could ever ever do – conquer the Wall of Eden. Breathing the thin air, he could see everything in all the edges of the flat world. Below in the Garden of Eden, Angel Michael saw the stranger over the wall.

Since, the sword weren't introduced to the angels yet, the only weapon he could have was an egg. I mean, it stings your eyes, right? The other angels soon accompany him in throwing thousands of eggs over the wall. The demons on the other side were the ones hit instead. But Angel Michael soon threw an egg onto the caveman's forehead. It was a fatal shot because of the great force used in the projectile. The caveman became unconscious and fell down the wall, yet on Eden's side. The demons cheered and the angels heard. They kept on throwing eggs and hitting the demons beyond.

The demons soon grew irritated, that they followed the caveman's blueprints in making swords and other sharp stone tools. As for the caveman, it was a long fall that he soon woke up. Like all humans, he's a genius. He took out his sword made of diamond, the most abundant mineral in his place. He thrust the sword onto the wall to slow down his fall. It made a huge cut in the wall. When he was near the ground, the caveman jumped and landed on a bush. The angels surrounded him with more eggs on their hands.

Suddenly, they heard the great crumbling and ran away for cover. Because of the huge cut the caveman made with his diamond sword, the demons found a weak spot and successfully destroyed the wall with the primitive stone tools. The demons then came invading the Garden. Angel Michael found the caveman's sword of diamond, thrust it to the ground, and a huge crack appeared. The demons fell into the crack with the Wall's enormous crumbled pieces after them. As for the caveman, the angels saw that he was crashed by a huge stone, too. "How could we ever put his bones together again?" asked Angel Michael to Angel Gabriel.

"I don't know. Internet?"

* * *

_Okay, this is the most absurd tale in the collection. It's not even horror. I based the story on my own novel, "Once Upon a Time, There was Gauld." It's not in because it's a pretty long epic, 60 chapters and everything. In my novel, specifically chapter 36, a rogue named Sephron was too lazy to take the long cut to Gauld, almost equivalent to Eden. So, he climbed the Wall of Dawn instead. It was his 169th time when he succeeded. On the top, he met Humpty Dumpty, and shouted, "Oh, my God! A talking giant egg!" And then Spehron fell down the wall. The way he landed is just like what the caveman did here. The only difference is Sephron didn't die, and the Wall was destroyed by a giantess who appeared from a wormhole._


	14. Jack Horner

**Jack Horner**

_Jack Horner sat in a corner,_

_Eating a Christmas pie._

_He put in his thumb,_

_And pulled out a plum._

_And said, "What a good boy am I!"_

It was Christmas and Jack Horner opened his piggy bank. He found enough money to treat his self out in a fancy restaurant for Christmas dinner. For you see, Jack only lived alone in an abandoned place and his house was at the farthest and darkest corner of the cul de sac. He rarely came out because he hated people, not feared. In the case of going out at Christmas Eve, he just wished everyone would live him alone.

Thus, he sat on the farthest and darkest corner of the fancy restaurant. He ordered a very special and expensive dish called Christmas pie. It's made of all berries, from color red to violet, rare herbs and spices like pine mint, bark-brown chocolate, rose petals, gold leaves, and angel whip cream. Jack was enjoying every bite of it, until a snooty guy and his entourage approached him, calling him names, insulting him to get lost, and stuffs like that. But Jack only ignored their annoyance, until the guy smashed Jack's pie with his fist.

"Y'know, that pie caused me a lot, almost like that ring on your thumb. You better pay it back."

Yet, the guy and his entourage laughed at him and tantalized Jack by showing all his fingers with a ring each, especially the thumb, "You want this amethyst? Better get it, doofus." After receiving more mockery, Jack grabbed the guy hand and pinned it down on the rest of the pie. He then held out his knife and sliced the guy's thumb, and pulled out the plum-colored amethyst ring. The guy and his entourage began shouting extreme expletives. But it was only for a short moment because Jack was quick in mutilating them all. He then went to the bartender, showed the bloody amethyst ring and ordered another Christmas pie.

* * *

_Do you know JTHM? Johnny the Homicidal Maniac? Created by the powerfully awesome Jhonen Vasquez? Well, I based Jack's character design on him. You might call Mr. Horner JTHM, too - Jack the Homicidal Maniac. He he he. Okay, corny. Too bad I rated this collection T. If it's rated M, I could've narrated the mutilation with more details. For those who were disappointed, accept my sincere apology for not being satisfyingly graphic and violent. Uhm, if you want a really gruesome adaptation of Jack Horner, read my other fanfic under the Jhonen Vasquez category. It's entitled "Goth Gal Giggling" and the pie scene is on chapter 4. Review it, too. Thanks.  
_


	15. Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

**Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary**

_Mary, Mary, quite contrary,_

_How does your garden grow?_

_With silver bells and cockle shells_

_And three maids all in a row._

There were four sisters – Mary Anne, Mary Jane, Mary Kaye and Mary Rose. They were a happy bunch of girls and darlings of an elite village. Well, except for the last one, Mary Rose. She was quite contrary to her three sisters. She's a loner actually, spending the whole day alone in the garden that never seemed to bloom and color, just like her personality. She despised her sisters who are always dancing flirtingly to gentlemen, singing with voices so horrible and mocking her barren garden. Then one day, she learned that their mother cut her out of the inheritance just because she wasn't popular in the elite crowd. Though their eldest, Mary Anne, tried to comfort Mary Rose, she devised a plan to get revenge on her sisters.

Mary Kaye was in the town square again, dancing with a lot of handsome gentlemen, her suitors actually. Her bracelet of tiny silver bells whimsically jingled with her every sway and laughter. Until, Mary Rose appeared and invited her sister for tea in the pavilion of her grey garden. Mary Rose just let Mary Kaye talk about her suitors and the dances she learned from the burlesque house. Soon, Mary Rose offered some finger sandwiches. Mary Kaye happily ate them, but little didn't she know that it wasn't ham inside them. It was cockle shells. For you see, Mary Rose knew Mary Kaye was extremely allergic to seafood. Thus, that night, her bracelet of tiny silver bells violently jingled with her every itch and scratch, and with Mary Rose's laughter as she watched her sister die in rashes. At dawn, Mary Rose secretly buried her sister in the garden.

Mary Jane was in the grand room, singing so loud and horrible, yet she thought her voice was the most beautiful of all. One day, she was rehearsing early in the morning until she saw her sister, Mary Rose, burying Mary Kaye in the garden. Then, Mary Rose caught the witness and hurried inside the house. Mary Jane also hurried to Mary Anne's bedroom but their eldest was nowhere to be seen. She soon hurried to the outside, but Mary Rose appeared and blocked her way to the door. She gripped Mary Jane's neck and stuffed her mouth with cockle shells from the red tide which would swell anyone's throat. Mary Jane was then choking and couldn't speak. But in her horror, she smashed a vase on Mary Rose's head, and hurried to the town's bell tower. Without her voice, she rang the huge silver bells to wake up the village and warn them about her sister. Everyone came out early in the morning, but they saw no one in the tower anymore. But one of the silver bells had blood on it, as if someone banged his or her head.

After the false alarm, Mary Anne came home from a medical institute that was studying her case of catalepsy, a state when the patient seemed to be dead. But first, she talked to the village undertaker and asked him to put a silver bell attached to her coffin whenever she's buried. If she was buried alive just because of her confusing catalepsy, she would ring the bell to be rescued. At home, she found her two sisters missing for breakfast, which they would never miss. She approached Mary Rose who was very busy in the garden. On two freshly dug and plowed patches, she was planting new seeds again. Mary Anne told her sister to give up on her garden and have a life for a change. Mary Rose was much offended though Mary Anne's remark was just a gentle piece of advice. Since Mary Rose wasn't going to talk to her, Mary Anne went out to ask the whereabouts of her two sisters. But no one knew. That night, she was so worried that she just sat in the parlor, looking at the full moon and nothing else.

Mary Rose then saw Mary Anne dead on the chair at midnight, and joyfully buried her last sister in the garden under the cold moon. Many months had passed. Many asked about the three Mary's, but Mary Rose just informed them that her sisters were already away, living in their inherited mansions far off. As for her, her precious garden became the darling of the elite village, especially in the spring and summer. Flowers bloomed to the fullest fragrance, and never seemed to wither. Mary Rose was hosting a gala in her garden one night. She was at last in the elite crowd. Everyone asked her how she made her garden grow so beautifully. But all she answered was "With silver bells and cockle shells, and three maids all in a row." Suddenly, they heard a silver bell ring somewhere below the flowers. They soon found it on a patch of asters. They were all amazed because the wind wasn't causing the bell to ring. There was a rope attached to it and seemed connected below the earth. As if, something below the earth was pulling the rope.

Mary Rose didn't remember putting the silver bell there. "I did," she heard someone said. Everyone turned around and saw the undertaker. Thunder clashed and it started to rain. Everyone hurried inside, but Mary Rose just stood there, staring at the grave of her sisters. The silver bell was still ringing on the patch of asters. Then, Mary Rose heard a death cry below the patch of larkspurs beside the asters. The rain made the soil soft, and out came a hand with a bracelet of tiny silver bells, below the patch of zinnias beside the larkspurs.

In the morning, everyone saw Mary Rose's corpse in the garden, bloody with thorns.

* * *

_This is a really long one, even longer than Miss Mufet. But I hoped you enjoyed it. I based the buried-in-the-garden thing from Stephen King's "The Secret Window" where the anti-hero, played by Johnny Depp, planted corn on his wife's grave so the corpse would be ruined and there would be no evidence._


	16. Twinkle Little Star

**Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star**

_Twinkle, twinkle, little star,_

_How I wonder what you are._

_Up above the world so high,_

_Like a diamond in the sky._

"Practice your violin, you stupid girl!" shouted Miss Bitters as she locked Alice in her room. Alice stood at her balcony as she sighed with the chilly night air. She gazed at the twinkling stars of the night. "Oh star light, star bright," she prayed, "I wish for a better place tonight." She then stared at the blue full moon. Suddenly, she noticed a small grey spot growing larger, or coming closer. To her surprise, it was a hare falling down from the moon. It landed on the balcony.

Little Alice tried to grab it, but it hopped up to the roof. To her curiosity, she also climbed up. The hare then went down the chimney and so did Alice. Slowly, she glided down the chimney and saw the faces of sadness and fear. She shrieked and it made her fell hard. She reached the bottom and trampled away from the fireplace. She lied down on what seems to be the foyer of the house. "Hello," a tall and slim gentleman with dark shades appeared before her face and helped her get up.

"My name is Sir Lewis, and you must be new here."

"New? But I live here."

"Live. Such a funny word."

Alice looked around and saw the house had become antique; cobwebs and dust everywhere, melted candles and strange furniture. "This isn't my house," she remarked. Sir Lewis chuckled and pulled out a book, "Of course, it isn't. You're in Necropolis. But according here, you're now a resident." She looked at one page and saw her name written in red ink. Alice became confused. "You wished for a better place, didn't you?" Sir Lewis reminded her. By then, her face brightened.

Alice looked out a window and saw the stars. They were much brighter, much magnificent. She walked towards the door to see a clearer view. Sir Lewis opened the main door for her. She was looking towards the sky. It was like she was gazing at the Milky Way up close. Then, her awesome view became awful. She looked straight ahead to see the garden and a ghastly scream came out of her throat.

What Alice saw was the ghoulish shade of decay, antiquity, and dissolution; the putrid, dripping eidolon of unwholesome revelation, the awful baring of that which the merciful earth should always hide. God knows it was not of this world. She beholds in full, frightful, vividness the inconceivable, indescribable, and unmentionable monstrosity of everything in that place. She tried to close her eyes but they refused.

"This is paradise, Alice. It's a wonderland. But first you must get rid of something precious." Sir Lewis removed his shades and Alice perceived the soulless black emptiness of his eye sockets. She was also surrounded by other children; all of them had no eyes. "Without eyes, Alice," he continued, "We are better beings. We could see and feel the better side of things. These you see with those eyes of yours may look horrible. But without eyes, you will see this place is a utopia. Without eyes, Alice, you won't be plagued with mortal imperfectness.

"Like Care. No one here judges people by their physical looks anymore. So why must you care of what you'll wear today?

"Injustice. Do you know why the stone woman in the court wears a blindfold?

"Sleep. We have no eyes to close, right?

"Of course, Sadness. You won't be able to cry anymore, Alice.

"So, please, don't you walk away from us," Sir Lewis grabbed Alice's arm as she tried to escape. The other children moved closer menacingly with their sharp hands ready to gouge out her eyes. Alice bit Sir Lewis's hand and ran away inside the house. She locked the double doors and tried to climb up the chimney. But it was no use and the eyeless beings got inside. Alice ran away as fast as she could until she lost them in the third floor. She hid and locked herself in a room she believed to be hers.

As she was crying silently, she noticed the red full moon shining into a mirror. She didn't know why, but the hare she saw literally came out of the moon light. Alice approached the mirror and touched the reflection of the moon. To her surprise the mirror seemed to be liquefying. And so, Alice moved into the mirror, and found herself high above her own world and falling down from a blue moon. She looked at the stars and to her surprise, they were eyeballs and they were crying.

Alice soon landed on the lawn and became unconscious in the rain. She woke up at dawn, and saw Miss Bitters looking down at her, "Escaping from your lessons, are you? Humph! Jumping down the balcony won't save you." Alice was glad to see someone's eyes and hugged her harsh governess. As they were walking towards the house, Alice looked up and saw the Morning Star still twinkling. "Was it all a dream?" she asked. When Miss Bitters entered the door, the star came falling down like a little comet.

Alice stretched out her hand to catch the diamond, but to her surprise, it was an eyeball.

_I'm watching you._

_The plot is quite similar to "Alice in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." The concept of the eyeballs is found in my other fan fiction entitled "Fairytale Sentiment." Please read it. The idea of the hare jumping out of the moon came from a myth (I forgot of what place) saying that it's an omen of death. When a friend of mine read this, he said it's similar to Neil Gaiman's "Coraline." But I really didn't base it on that._

* * *


	17. Little BoPeep

**Little Bo-Peep**

_Little Bo-peep has lost her sheep,_

_And can't tell where to find them;_

_Leave them alone, and they'll come home,_

_And ring their tails behind them._

_Little Bo-peep fell fast asleep,_

_And dreamt she heard them bleating;_

_But when she awoke, she found it a joke,_

_For they were still all fleeting._

_Then up she took her little crook,_

_Determined for to find them;_

_She found them indeed, but it made her heart bleed,_

_For they'd left their tails behind them._

_It happened one day, as Bo-peep did stray_

_Into a meadow hard by,_

_These she espied their tails side by side,_

_All hung on a tree to dry._

_She heaved a sigh, and wiped her eye,_

_And over the hillocks went rambling,_

_And tried what she could, as a shepherdess should,_

_To tack again each to its lambkin._

Actually, there was a little boy named Bob. He had a piñata shaped like a sheep named Peep. Strangely, he loved this piñata very much, like it was a favorite toy, instead of a party treat that should be whacked open. Peep provided him with great sweets, but Bob took great care for not to break the papier-mâché. He was really happy with Peep.

One day, the neighbor girl named Sweet Pea approached Bob while he was playing with Peep, "Hey, Bob. I hope to see you on my birthday party this Saturday. It's going to be a blast. I know you're going to give me a present. But do you know what I would really like?" She looked at the piñata, "Candies." Then, she giggled away. Bob looked at Peep, but he knows that Peep doesn't have candy inside anymore. So, at the party, Bob showed up empty-handed. "Where are my candies?" Sweet Pea shouted angrily at Bob.

The only sound that came from Bob's mouth was a small "peep". But Sweet Pea immediately calmed down and invited Bob to enjoy the party. After all the cake and games, Bob went home happy with his gift bag, until he realized that Peep wasn't on his right arm. He went to his neighbor's yard and asked the grown-ups who were cleaning up. But they didn't see any sheep-shaped piñata. So, that night, Bob cried himself to sleep and had a dream where he was in a meadow playing with Peep who could move and talk by its own.

Then, Bob decided to play hide and seek. After counting one to ten, he went to seek Peep but he found his best friend tied to a tree with blindfolded children holding a stick to break the piñata open. Before it happened, Bob woke up with a shriek, "Peeeeeep!" When he came down, he found a gift-wrapped box on the porch, labeled to him. He opened the present, and to his horror, he found Peep's tail. There was a note attached, "Bring the candies or the piñata gets it."

Bob knew Sweet Pea was behind it, but he was just a little boy and she's older by a year. He cracked open his piggy bank and rushed to the candy shop to buy as many candies as he could. At noon, he arrived in Sweet Pea's backyard. She was holding Peep in her hands. With no more argument, Bob traded the candies for Peep and walked away. In his room, Bob got his glue and tried to put Peep's tail. He soon realized that it didn't fit at all, and that piñata Sweet Pea gave wasn't Peep.

Bob heard the laughter of Sweet Pea and her friends. He looked out the window and there he saw the real Peep, without his tail, stuffed with the candies Bob bought, hanging from a tree, surrounded by kids with sticks upon their hands, and…..

Whack! Crack! Twack!

The kids fell on the ground unconscious. Bob carefully untied Peep from the tree and hugged him. Along his way back to the house, he threw into the thrash can a stick splattered with blood.

* * *

_i was inspired by Jhonen Vasquez's character named Squee, a little boy who always sees horrible things and has a teddy bear named Shmee. Also the story is like another of his comic strips called "The Little Girl Eats Her Candy" where the little girl was killed by evil piñatas. It's also similar to a Johnny Bravo episode where he thinks a piñata named Pookie is an endangered animal._


	18. Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe

**Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe**

_Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,_

_Catch the tiger by the toe._

_If he hollers, let him go._

_Eeny, meeny, miny, moe._

Ina, Minnie, Manny and Moe went camping for the weekend in the woods. Manny and Moe set up the tents while Ina and Minnie prepared their food. The problem was there was no firewood left for the campfire, and darkness was rising pretty quick. The four friend looked at each other, pointing who would venture out of their open area and to the shadows of trees. To solve their problems, they used the eeny-meeny-miny-moe trick. And the one who's it was Moe.

Moe then went ahead with his flashlight, looking for branches on the mossy ground. He soon found enough, but he also found himself deep in the woods. He followed his footsteps on the soil, yet he had this queer feeling that he was being watched. The leaves of the bushes swayed but seemed to be disturbed not by the wind, but something. Moe could even hear tight breathing that's not his.

He stopped his trek when he noticed strange tracks on the grounds. It seemed that some sort of animal with huge claws followed him towards the forest. Moe looked back and was relieved a little that the tracks didn't follow him back. And yet, out of the blue, a shadow appeared down the path. Moe was speechless and ran away back to the campsite. His friends observed the fear in his face, but Moe wouldn't want to ruin their trip because they had been planning for it for weeks now.

Besides, maybe it was his imagination. After smorse and campfire songs, Ina, Minnie, Manny and Moe went to sleep in their huge tent. They fixed their bags on one side to serve as their pillows. They slept in a row actually. As so the girls would have more air from the slightly open zippers of the tent, Moe and Manny slept in the middle. Manny was quite uncomfortable with his situation because he was the tallest. He have to get his feet out of the tent. But since it wasn't that chilly outside, he slept soundly in that position.

As for Moe, he couldn't sleep because what he imagined back there. Then, he was imagining again or was it not a dream? While his three friends were sleeping peacefully, he heard rattling in the bushes, then voices with buzzing noises. They sounded not like human, but their words were understandable, "Which do you want, Yuggoth?" Then, Moe heard it hum the frightening tunes, "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe," as it drew closer to the tent. Suddenly, Ina, who was beside him, was taken away.

"Catch the tiger by the toe," another continued with more dread. Manny was dragged by his toe out of the tent. "If he hollers, let him go," the third sang and Moe saw a mutated crab-like hand reaching for Minnie.

Eeeny...

Meeny...

Miny...

"Nooo!!" Moe hollered as he took his switch knife and wounded the claw. Minnie woke up and joined Moe's shrieks. The loud cries made the creatures panic. Moe went out and saw Manny woke up and struggled as he was being dragged by his toes. Moe held pulled him by the hand. They heard Ina screamed in the woods and saw her running back. Minnie was still shrieking as the third creature writhed on the ground. They all hollered and the nocturnal demons let them go and scurried away.

* * *

_I had a lot of references from H.P. Lovecraft's books. For example, in "The Lurking Fear" when Ina and Minnie are going to be snatch because they're at the sides of the tent. Also the monsters from my story look like the aliens in "The Whisperers in Darkness." And Yuggoth is a god found most in Lovecraft's books. My story here is a common campfire thriller when I was a girl scout. We would put our stuff upon our feet and head inside the tent so no cannibal would snatch us by the hair or toe._


	19. Rain, Rain, Go Away

**Rain, Rain, Go Away**

_Rain, rain, go away._

_Come back anoth__er day._

Vases smashing. Slaps echoing. Yelling. Shouting. Little Chris crying. Heat scorching.

Little Chris was at his corner, crying, while his parents were again quarreling and fighting. Poor kid, ignorant of the expletives coming out of their mouths, innocent of the reasons why they do this everyday. And yet, Chris could feel every nasty blow and hurtful words. So, he's there crying as the shadows of his parents shaded him from the light of the sun.

The sun. It was December, and yet it was hot, hotter than summer. Chris went out and saw old Sammy sweeping up the porch. "Still on their little tiff, huh, Chris?" he asked to comfort the boy. Chris rubbed the sweat in his head and looked at the withered lawn. "I blame this weather," he said grimly, "I wish it would rain." Sammy continued sweeping and replied, "I don' know, boy. Tis global warming. Back in my days, there's none of that."

Chris giggled and wished again, "Rain, rain, come this way. It is another day. Cool my parents' heads if you may."

"Be careful of what you wish for, boy," old Sammy said as he swept and faded.

Then one morning, Chris woke up to hear drizzling out of the window. And there was no nagging noises downstairs. He soon went outside and played in the rain. Old Sammy was still sweeping the porch as he smiled to see Chris smile again. Chris's Mom came out as Sammy vanished, "Young man, come inside this instant! You'll catch your cold." But Chris kept on jumping on puddles and catching raindrops on a pail.

Then, his fun was over when he saw Dad drive away in his car. "Mom, where's Dad going?" he shouted.

"I don't know. And I don't care! He's gone for good."

Lightning flashed and thunder struck as Chris heard the bad news. The wind blew harder and the rain fell heavy. Chris felt the raindrops like needles falling from the sky. It hurt his skin so much that he screamed as he went indoors. "It's a storm out there," his Mom said and grabbed pans and buckets. Chris found puddles inside the house. It was a storm alright because the roof was leaking.

Then, he felt weak and began coughing and sneezing. He caught a cold and his Mom wrapped him in blankets. The storm was getting stronger. He even heard the winds howled menacingly, like wolves. Then, there was a blackout at dusk. Scared of the dark, Chris got out of bed and went to the living room. Lightning flashed and he saw his Mom standing by the window and looking outside. Chris also looked and saw ghouls riding with the wind, howling and moaning, and trying to get inside.

"Chris, get out of here," his Mom whispered. Chris was still paralyzed by the sight of ghosts. "Chris, get out of here!" his Mom yelled as the ghouls of the wind broke the windows and pushed away his Mom with a supernatural force. When the ghouls were after Chris, his Mom got up and carried him away. She locked themselves in the master's bedroom. The rain now poured in a greater torrent that it made the ceiling leak, too.

While his Mom was blocking the door and windows, Chris watched the new puddle grow blacker and spread through the room. He jumped on top of the bed to avoid it, then he saw that it's nearing his Mom. He shouted to get her attention but too late. His Mom plunged down the seemingly shallow puddle, and only her hand was seen. Everything the puddle touched sank. Chris jumped out of bed in time and went out of the room screaming.

He heard his father's car in the garage. "Son! Are you alright?" he found Chris in the kitchen, "Where's your mother?" The little boy only cried and his tears were like the rain outside. His father went to get flashlights, but out of the blue, the wind outside was so strong that it carried a whole tree. And this tree smashed into the kitchen and crashed onto Chris's Dad. The little boy ran away screaming. The roof of his house was gone and he could feel the needle-like raindrops and saw the grim faces of the winds.

As thunder growled and lightning tried to strike him, Chris shouted to the dark clouds, "Rain, rain, go away. Come back another day. I want my parents to stay."

In his sick disposition, Chris fainted in the rain. When he woke up, he was in the hospital. He saw his parents hugging and kissing, reconciling, praying together for him to wake up. They then rejoiced when they saw his bright eyes open and his smile. They soon come out and felt the warmth of the loving sunshine. How about their house? When they arrived, they were surprised to see that it was in tact and more welcoming that ever. Old Sammy was sweeping the porch and winked at little Chris.

* * *

_I got this from my old stories called "The Life of the Last Mortevalles." It's about three orphans. One hot day, the first two, Derek and Pamela, are always trying to kill each other because Derek's possessed by a demon while Pamela uses witchcraft. This makes Casey, the youngest, sad and blamed it on the weather_. _Thus, she used a spell to summon rain, but it was a supernatural storm that came out. Sorry, my stories are getting longer._


	20. Sing a Song of Sixpence

**Sing a Song of Sixpence**

_Sing a song of sixpence,_

_A pocket full of rye._

_Four and twenty blackbirds_

_Baked in a pie._

_When the pie was opened, _

_The birds began to sing; _

_Wasn't that a dainty dish, _

_To set before the king? _

_The king was in his counting house_,

_Counting out his money; _

_The queen was in the parlor,_

_Eating bread and honey. _

_The maid was in the garden, _

_Hanging out the clothes; _

_When down came a blackbird _

_And snapped off her nose._

They were called the Shadagasta, a group of highly skilled thieves, assassins and rogues. One time, they had a huge heist plan to rob the Fortress of Petoria, famous for its legendary treasury of golden sixpence. It was surrounded by a vast field of rye that this castle could not be seen unless one travels to the middle of the field. The Shadagasta hid in the rye and silently rushed through the field. They soon reached the fortress and found it had no guard system. And yet, they found the walls to be too high for their ropes. Their best jumpers could not even scale it, and the crawlers could make it if it weren't for gravity.

So, they sought help from the most notorious witch among them, Jenny Wren. She sprinkled cursed rye grains and instantly, they all became ravens and crows. They flew up high and yet, they heard a gun. Three were shot and fell to their doom. Soon, most of the members were shot and died in their wounds. The gunslinger was a professional hunter. But when Jenny Wren looked back as they escaped, it was just the young woman who wielded the deadly shotgun.

The king and queen went to the courtyard and were shocked by all the dead blackbirds lying everywhere. The queen fainted and the king scolded the girl, "I appointed you to guard the fortress, not shoot birds as game. I'm demoting you to laundry maid!"

"Who would then protect your impregnable walls, your majesty?" the girl replied rhetorically and dropped her shotgun. The king knew she's the best among his many guards, but she always abused her power and played around. But what he said was that. He then ordered his servants to clean up the mess and carry the unconscious queen to her parlor. That night, the Shadagasta counted their members and only twenty-four remained. "We didn't see that coming!"

That night, Jenny Wren used again her witchcraft and turned their selves into crows and ravens. They flew up high in the darkness of the night. To avoid getting shot, too, they saw the chimney and dived down it. Since they had harsher experiences before, they could withstand the heat of the oven where a huge pie was about to be done. They hid inside it and waited. They knew no one's prepared for an attack during dessert. Lucky for them, the pie was to be serve right inside the counting house or the treasury itself.

The waiter came with the pie and the guards thought it was alright to let him in. Little didn't they know, once they closed the vault, the twenty-one blackbirds flew out of the pie, turned back to human, attacked the waiter and the king, and stole all the rare sixpences and gold coins of the kingdom. "In for a penny, in for a pound!" They knocked on the vaults. The guards thought it was the waiter, but instead it was flying daggers. The Shadagasta soon invaded the whole fortress from the inside, and even abducted the beautiful queen from her honey-scented parlor.

As for Jenny Wren, she needed revenge. But the other members were flying away with their booty. "Make it quick!" She soon found the girl who killed her comrades. She was outside the castle, busy with the laundry in the dark and oblivious of the attack that just happened inside. Jenny attacked the laundry maid and tore off her hair, her nose, her fingers and her eyes. Suddenly, multiple gunshots were heard again in the sky. Then, it was raining sixpence and black feathers. Jenny looked up on one tower, and there it was the gunslinger girl again.

Jenny looked at her false victim's nose on her palm. "She got me!"

* * *

_This is a request from **uncopywritable**. I hope you like it. The group of Shadagasta was inspired by Neil Gaiman's "How to Sell the Ponti Bridge" and the guilds and characters found in Ragnarok Online. Jenny Wren actually, in the original rhyme, was the one who returned the nose to the laundry maid:_

_There was such a commotion,_

_That little Jenny wren_

_Flew down into the garden, _

_And put it back again.  
_


	21. London Bridge

**London Bridge**

_London Bridge is falling down, My fair lady._

_Build it up with wood and clay.  
_

_Wood and clay will wash away__, My fair lady__._

_Build it up with bricks and mortar._

_Bricks and mortar will not stay__, My fair lady__._

_Build it up with iron and steel._

_Iron and steel will bend and bow__, My fair lady__._

_Build it up with silver and gold._

_Silver and gold will be stolen away__, My fair lady__._

_Set a man to watch all night._

_Suppose the man should fall asleep__, My fair lady__?_

_Give him a pipe to smoke all night._

Hringhorni, the greatest of all ships, burned with the twilight sun and sailed forth delivering to the sea of shadows the burning bodies of the most beloved god, Baldur, his melancholic wife Nanna, his mighty steed Sigrdrifa, his blind brother Hod and his servant dwarf Litr. The five souls were freed from their earthly bodies and descended to the cold realms of Nifleheim. For nine days, they had seen nothing in that valley so deep and dark, until they heard the ululation of the noisy river called Gjoll. There was a bridge named Gjallarbru and the ghostly maiden, Modgud, guarded it. She smirked at the arrival of the tragic god, "Alas, the god of light hath surrendered to darkness."

The five souls looked beyond the bridge and perceived the moaning halls of the goddess Hel and the grimaces of the dead. In fear and disgust, Baldur refused to cross Gjallarbru. Modun said, "There is no turning back, Baldur. The bridge stands to take you to my fair Lady." It was the code of the dead and Baldur could not do anything about it. He and Nanna mounted Sigrdrifa, Litr cavorted forth and Hod followed from behind. Upon their step, the bridge echoed from beneath them. At once, it began to fall apart. The five souls returned to the entrance just in time. Baldur mocked Modgud, "There's no more bridge to cross. We cannot go to Hel after all."

Amused, Modgud then commanded the wooden planks of coffins and the clay of the dug graves to form a new bridge. Litr jumped down the roaring Gjoll and skipped about. He created waves that were strong enough to wash away the wood and clay. Annoyed, Modgud beckoned the bricks of fallen fortresses and battle-ridden mortar to form a larger bridge. The blind Hod threw an arrow made of mistletoe, the very stem that killed his immortal brother. With luck, it hit the weakest point of the bridge. Gjallarbru didn't stay long. Angered, Modgud summoned the blood-covered swords of iron and steel to form a stronger bridge. With one mighty stamp of Sigrdrifa's hoofs, the metallic bridge bent and bowed.

Suddenly, they heard high above the realm of Asgard the laments of the goddess of beauty, Freya, for the death of Baldur. She cried tears as red as blood dripping down to the earth where they turned to gold. Modgud called the sobbing souls of Hel to rise up to the air and catch the red gold. With Freya's tears, she formed a stronger, larger and more magnificent Gjallarbru. Then, she took the hellhound, Garm, by its chain, and threatened the five souls to cross the golden bridge. And soon, Litr, Hod, Sigrdrifa, Nanna and Baldur entered the sad gates of the fair Lady.

* * *

_If you know Norse Mythology, you'll recognize that this was inspired by Baldur's death and based on Hermod's travel to Hel._


	22. Ladybird, Ladybird

**What Folks are Made of?**

_What are little babies made of?_

_Diapers and crumbs and sucking their thumbs;_

_That's what little babies are made of._

_What are little boys made of?_

_Frogs and snails and pupp-dog tails;_

_That's what little boys are made of._

_What are little girls made of?_

_Sugar and spice and everything nice;_

_That's what little girls are made of._

_What are young men made of?_

_Sighs and leers and crocodile tears;_

_That's what young men are made of._

_What are young women made of?_

_Rings and jings and other fine things;_

_That's what young women are made of._

_.  
_

"Children, mommy's going to town to buy ingredients for your new baby brother. Don't ever go out of the house. It's raining."

Cookie, Ella, Sept and Pun waved good bye to their mother as she walked out of the woods with her polka-dotted red hood and basket. Cookie headed to the pantry and munched on sugar cookies and spice cakes. Pun peeked out the window and grabbed a snail sleeping nearby. He showed it to Cookie. He said, "You know what snicker doodles means? It means snail dumplings! So, you're eating snails!" Cookie looked at the sugar cookie on her hand and ran to her elder sister, Ella, "Pun's teasing me again."

Ella sat in front of the vanity mirror and tried on some jewelry, "I'm busy, Cookie. Go bother Sept for awhile." Cookie went to Sept who was reading Shakespeare's play, Henry IV., "And Gloucester's show beguiles him as the mournful crocodile with sorrow, snares relenting passengers." Ignored, Cookie started to cry as Pun laughed at her. Sept sighed and said, "Oh, boo hoo, cry baby."

Suddenly, thunder roared outside and there was a knock at the door. The four children answered it and the lightning revealed a tall man wearing a brown coat and a fedora. He was soaking wet from the rain and the four children welcomed him inside by the warm fireplace. He introduced himself as Doctor Foster. Cookie went to the kitchen to get some food for their guest. As Doctor Foster warmed himself, he noticed that the young man was leering at him. "Why must you stare at me like that, my son?" But Sept only grinned more with sneer.

Doctor Foster suddenly felt someone's hand in his pocket. He looked down and found the young woman of the house trying to steal his golden chain watch. She wore sinfully vain jewelries that dangled like the gallows and gleamed like blinding forest fires. She still snatched the watch. Doctor Foster told her, "It is a sin to steal, my dear." But Ella was busy eyeing the shiny thing. Then, he heard monstrous croaking and in a moment, he thought it was a demon. It was only little boy playing with a dead muddy frog. Doctor Foster was getting more ill at ease.

The little girl came back and announced that there wasn't any food left. Ella gasped, "What about our guest?" Then, Sept looked at little Cookie with a sinister grin and said, "You're made with sugar and spice, right?" Pun laughed and carried Cookie to the kitchen. Doctor Foster peeked in and saw young woman holding a large baking pan. Then, the little boy put little girl inside, and the young man closed the lid and put the pan inside the stove. The young woman was about to light the stove, until Doctor Foster shouted, "You are indeed children of the witch!"

He pulled out a purple bottle from his coat and sprinkled holy water upon the children. Sept cried and turned into a puddle of tears that sighed. Ella melted, and what was left of her was the jewelry she wore. Frog legs, snail goo and dog tails exploded out of Pun. Doctor Foster then took a jar of kerosene and spread it around the house. Finally, he set the whole house on fire and walked away in the rain.

.

**Ladybird, Ladybird**

_Ladybird, ladybird fly away home,_

_Your house is on fire and your children are gone,_

_All except one, and her name is Ann,_

_And she hid under the baking pan._

_.  
_

A woman in a polka-dotted red hood arrived in a sleeping village of Gloucester. She went directly to a gypsy wagon under a leafless tree. Inside were jars of glowing juices and strings of uncanny things, scriptures of the mysteries and boxes of unknown objects. All were for sale and covered in dust. At the far end was a table with a crystal ball on top. "Ah, Lady Burd, what's my best customer wants today?" appeared an old gypsy woman from behind the beads. Lady Burd checked her basket, "Well, I already have diapers. I think I'll need some crumbs and sucked thumbs."

The gypsy woman put a box of crumbs on the basket, and went to look for some thumbs. "Well, aren't you in luck, Lady Burd," she said as she found a jar of disembodied thumbs, "This is the last jar. So, what are you going to do to these things this time?"

"Oh, I'm going to make a baby."

"That's nice. Why baby this time? Usually, you create already grown children."

"It would be nice for a change to have something little and innocent."

After paying, Lady Burd noticed the crystal ball shining. The old woman sat on the table and offered to tell her fortune. Lady Burd also sat down and listened to the gypsy's chanting:

"Ladybird, Ladybird, Fly away home. Your house is on fire And your children are gone."

Lady Burd let go of her basket and ran like the swelling wind towards the dark woods of Gloucester. Her red hood flapped violently like her blood-pumping heart. The black polka dots glimmered and surrounded her with a grim aura. The fear in her made the trees shun her and cleared a path. Soon, she reached her burning house. She chanted a spell to beckon the wind ghouls to blow out the flames, and more cold rain to extinguish the fire. Then, she went inside to find sighs, leers and crocodile tears, rings, jings and fine things, and frogs, snails and puppy-dog tails. But some ingredients were missing. Lady Burd went into the kitchen and heard crying from the stove. She pulled out the baking pan, and found little Cookie in one piece.

"Who did this to your siblings?" her mother asked furiously.

"His name is Doctor Foster."

**Doctor Foster**

_Doctor Foster went to Gloucester,_

_In a shower of rain;_

_He stepped on a puddle,_

_Right up to his middle,_

_And never went there again._

_.  
_

Doctor Foster finally reached the harbor. The skipper warned him that a storm's coming but the doctor was in a rush to live the place called Gloucester. The ship's captain welcomed him and ordered to set sail right away. "Your stay here is quite short, Doctor," he said, "The witch's children all taken care of?" Doctor Foster proudly nodded but anxiety still filled him. "How about the mother?" the captain asked while the anchor was drawn out of the unstable water. Doctor Foster started to get sea-sick and excused himself to the deck.

Soon, the ship was at the middle of the lake. With the wind blowing and the rain pouring, Doctor Foster looked back at Gloucester. Then, he set his gaze up a cliff by the lake. There was a hooded figure colored red as blood. He could hear its ghastly wail to the dark sky. The wind blew harder and ripped the sail. The rain poured heavier and sank the ship. Doctor Foster plunged to the dark waters and never went up again.

* * *

_This is my first time to use 3 nursery rhymes in one story. A bit of a challenge but I think I like the result._


End file.
